Sunday, September 18, 2005

J, P, E and D - meet Dov and Bear

DovBear yesterday issued the blogging equivalent of a subscriber marketing survey, breaking down his nearly 2000 posts into ten main categories and asking readers which they like best.

And that got me thinking (after briefly noting that I don't care for any of them): Can one man really write 2000 blog posts - many of them substantial and nontrivial, some even well-researched - in about eleven months? Seriously, that's an average of over 40 posts a week - and he's shomer Shabbos! And has a wife and kids!

Then I considered his list of categories, and the picture became clearer. Would the same man engage in "Partisan poo-throwing" (category 1) and discourse on "Torah / theology / history"? Would the same blogger alternate "Pope pounding" with "Stray thoughts and observations"? Of course not.

The explanation is simple: The DovBear Documentary Hypothesis. DovBear, as his dual moniker suggests, is in fact written by two separate bloggers.

The first - for convenience, let's refer to him as "Dov" - is an intellectual Orthodox Jew, middle aged, who long ago gave up on completing his Ph.D. He discourses on Torah, theology and history, points out interesting news articles and editorials, tosses around stray thoughts and observations, and engages readers in the comment section.

The second - "Bear", natch - is younger, probably still working on his bachelor's, who learned to write from TV sitcoms and likes to make fun of strangers in the street. He takes pleasure at poo-throwing (partisan and non-), clobbering Cross-Currents, lacerating Lazer Brody, Paloozing Toby and in general assaulting and offending anyone at hand in between bursts of toilet humor.

Further research is necessary, but clearly our current text of DovBear was redacted by an editor who attempted to reconcile the obvious disparities between these two traditional sources through stylistic editing of both, such as inserting blatant spelling mistakes, and adding cross-references between them.

There is no other reasonable explanation.

Update (Sept. 19): Friend and ally Soccer Dad has identified a third documentary strand in the multifacted writings redacted by DovBear. He calls this author "P", for reasons which will become clear.


ליפא שנילצער said...

dov bear has a whole team of bloggers, together thay make up a great team

Miriam L said...

He's just one hyper-active guy in a boring job. My guess is he blogs to stay sane.

Jack said...

As a blogger who is prolific I can say that I believe it to be easy to come up with a ton of posts.

The question that this really begs is what is the quality of said posts.

Zman Biur said...


So there are more documentary strands yet to be identified? Please enlighten us!


That must be one real boring job. And undemanding. Where can I get one?


Sure, it's easy to come up with them. It's hard to get them all written and posted, though. While maintaining quality, as you say.

Soccer Dad said...

You had a boring job!
I remember.

Zman Biur said...


So you're suggesting he works for the federal government?

Soccer Dad said...

Um they're called federal employees (not federal workers) for a reason :-)

Sabba Hillel said...

Actually, there was a story about Isaac Asimov which was able to handle the question. The story called The Ten Percenter posited that only someone who had been cloned (the 10% meant ten clones - 9 and an original) could have reached the level of prolificity. Maybe that is his secret.

Since a clone needs to grow upfrom infancy, that would explain the apparent disparity in age between the two versions.

Since a clone would develope his own personality, that would explain the existence of P.

Zman Biur said...


Very clever. Given a choice, though, I'd take Asimov over DovBear in a flash. Any Asimov clones left?

daat y said...

absolutely hilarious!
Who is the redactor?
Which one doesn't admit to being wrong?

Zman Biur said...


A mystery indeed! Who is the redactor?

What would you suggest?