Monday, April 18, 2005

Why real men love the holidays

Why Real Men Love Sukkos
  • Hammer, stepladder, two-by-fours, outdoor wiring...
  • When else is camping out a mitzvah?
  • Cool! Look at that bug zapper go!

Why Real Men Hate Sukkos
  • You want me to shop for branches?
  • And fruit?
  • And wave them around in public?

Why Real Men Love Pesach
  • Yossi, could you pass me the blowtorch? Nah, you don't have to turn it off first.
  • Don't bother me now, I'm handling caustic chemicals.
  • Just a second, I'm busy boiling the silverware.
  • Burn, chametz, burn! Look at that bread glow! Might as well toss in the plastic bag too.
  • Darling, please bring the basin to the table so the head of the household can wash his hands. How's the brisket coming along?
  • You call that maror? Where's the real stuff?
  • Another cup of wine anyone?

Why Real Men Hate Pesach
  • You won't catch me cleaning the kitchen! I've still got my dignity.
  • Are you sure pizza is chametz? Looks pretty flat to me.
  • What do you mean, I have to have less than a kezayit of karpas?

Why Real Men Love Yom Kippur
  • Food? Bah! I'm not hungry. I could go another day at least.

Why Real Men Hate Yom Kippur
  • Honestly, I really don't see what I have to apologize for.

Why Real Men Hate Shavuos


Miriam L said...

Dad always did seem to enjoy the burning chametz part...

TRK said...


Too true.


Batya said...

and when the men hide off in work, it's the little ladies hauling and schlepping and climbing and planning a special vacation just for those who were home "making Pesach"

and how many ways are there to boil a potato?