Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Olive avoidance stress syndrome

It's hard to live in Israel without eating olives. (Or watching soccer - more on that in a future post.)

I'm doing the best I can, though. No matter how long I live here, there are some pleasures I simply don't appreciate. Acquired tastes? Not for me. Much to my wife's chagrin. (Regarding olives, not soccer.)

At least I can cope with black olives. Even when chopped, they stand out clearly in a tuna salad and can be extracted with only minor surgery (though on Shabbat it's a bit more delicate).

But the green ones are devious. They sit there disguised as pickles, waiting for my unsuspecting palate. When I'm least prepared - yech! What should be a pleasurable dining experience becomes a source of unnecessary stress.

Olives chopped into a salad should be required to identify themselves clearly. Being black is a good way. Olives should not be allowed to wear camouflage green in an environment with other green vegetables.

Somehow I don't think the consumer advocates will back me on this one.


Soccer Dad said...

I think that the title of this post, is a good start to getting recognition from consumer advocates. Now you just have to get it made into a certified disorder. That should give you what you need to get special government protections. If you want someone to lobby Congress to enact a law protecting Americans living abroad from this syndrome. Let me know. My lobbying fees are quite reasonable.

Cosmic X said...

Now I know why the army uses olive green colored uniforms: So that people will think that the soldiers are pickles.

Zman Biur said...


So you think I should go for ADA recognition?

I'm offended. This is not a disorder. There's nothing wrong with me - it's everyone else!

Rather than lobby Congress, why don't we go for class action? Then you can just take a cut of the award.

Cosmic X,

Now you've gone and blown their cover! You're exposing our brave fighters to needless risk! Some bloggers are just so irresponsible.

Just curious: Is that your real name? (I confess that mine isn't.)

Avi said...

I agree. Olives are icky. (I'm doing research for a paper, I'm academically overloaded... I can say 'icky' if I want!) I don't mind olive oil, though.

Cosmic X said...

My real name is Abu Musa. I changed it to Cosmic X because Cosmic X is easier to spell.